Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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