Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize