someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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