come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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