I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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