Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Come see our sink grown plant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
