Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think your dad took our porno
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
