I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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