when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just google imaged poop.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.