what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM