I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?