So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night