Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM