Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Spring semester is just not the same w/o you

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  (313): Spring semester is just not the same w/o you http://tfl.nu/5znn
  Replies (7) Good night (796) Bad night (1052)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

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  (203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3
  Replies (16) Good night (5183) Bad night (613)
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  (347): View more from New York

  We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"

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  (347): We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?" http://tfl.nu/p6mw
  Replies (52) Good night (950) Bad night (5165)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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  (504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2
  Replies (10) Good night (4029) Bad night (1106)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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  (585): I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late. http://tfl.nu/de8d
  Replies (1) Good night (2860) Bad night (946)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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  (229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.

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  (910): Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/zvsa
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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  (248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim
  Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (582)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room

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  (505): I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room http://tfl.nu/d90t
  Replies (13) Good night (1359) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (358): View more from

  I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.

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  (358): I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack. http://tfl.nu/ybt1
  Replies (8) Good night (623) Bad night (1309)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.

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  (608): On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke. http://tfl.nu/f19p
  Replies (18) Good night (3012) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  is that what this stuff is?

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  (810): if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you. (616): is that what this stuff is? http://tfl.nu/just
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.

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  (443): You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere. http://tfl.nu/84cy
  Replies (7) Good night (1542) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (969): View more from

  You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?

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  (969): You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll? http://tfl.nu/xabj
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.

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  (732): Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please. http://tfl.nu/0g2f
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (313)

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