Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This is classic penis vs brain.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.