Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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(734): View more from Michigan

It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever

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(518): View more from New York

you're out of your mind

(518): View more from New York

you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

(518): View more from New York

it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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(813): View more from Florida

Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch

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(816): View more from Missouri

He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.

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(404): View more from Georgia

WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!

(404): View more from Georgia

Shut up Max.

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