So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender