You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.