like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not