And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
