Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
