Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize