I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
