I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
