why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
