Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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