I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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