just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
