someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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