I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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