I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
