there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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