I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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