Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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