He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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