Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
