If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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