Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
