apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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