You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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