2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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