Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
