WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
