So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
