You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
