I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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