I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
