I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
