Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
