what if every blade of grass was a penis?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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