He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
