I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
