Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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