just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize