Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
