since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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