Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
