Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
