His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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