i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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