Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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