I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
