We're facebook friends in real life
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
