I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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