I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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