can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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