I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize