I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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