The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize